Can you act the way you want to feel?
November 29, 2017

You’ll never hear JJ Flizanes say someone hurt her feelings. When she shared that little gem on the show recently I decided that would be me from now on, too.

The concept had been gathering strength already. I’d already decided that if I was around someone who consistently hurt my feelings I’d (1) get some emotional distance, and (2) start plotting my escape.

The key word is “consistently.” I’ve yet to meet the person who keeps calm no matter what, who can look back with satisfaction at being only kind. But if you know people like I do, who are mean on purpose and think the problem is in the noticing, you’re free to reject them. It’s one of the most life-affirming things you can do.

The beauty of this? They don’t even have to know! When you’re with them, pretend like you’re watching a movie. Pretend they’re someone else. Pretend you’re someone else. Act the way you want to feel. “If everything about this situation was different,” you can tell yourself, “it would be great!” It sounds silly, but it works.